Christmas maybe over, but I still feel very much in the Christmas mood. I was hoping to get some fun gifts over the season, but nothing quite quenched my thirst, not that the gifts I got weren’t incredibly thoughtful and for the most part very useful. Alas, nothing screamed Christmas to me when I opened it, what ever happened to giving a gift that fit into the theme of Christmas? I want to see Christmas colors of red, green and white, see Santa Clause, reindeer or candy cane designs on the gifts I open. I would’ve even appreciated a fun game to play, games aren’t just for kids.
Christmas is a time to splurge and get things that you normally wouldn’t, besides a time to spend with your loved ones. I can buy myself socks, underwear and any other boring piece of clothing, I want something fun and something that reminds me of Christmas. I don’t want to struggle to remember when I got something, I should be able to look at it and say “I got that for Christmas”, instead of struggling to remember just where it came from. I just want to find myself something great to get for an after Christmas gift.
Here are some of the best:
How to Traumatize Your Children
Have you ever wondered how kids come out so messed up? Wonder no longer! This guide book will teach you all the necessary skills to *uck up your children.
Cat DJ Scratching Deck
Cats are natural DJs and this item proves it. Give it a try
Belt Buckle Flask
The perfect accessory. Replace your ordinary belt buckle with a stainless steel flask. Carry your favorite beverage with you everywhere you go.
Do Your Park Magnets
Doyourpark parking magnets have been developed to be used as an expression of disgust toward the most offensive parking jobs. Big, bold magnets with a variety of jeering insults and matching illustrations
Baby Shark Costume
Dress your baby as a scary but adorable shark
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas
Here’s an amazing book for your clueless boss that keeps hitting on you. It’s also perfect for someone who loves coloring even though they are over 18.
Offensive Business Cards
Have a message for that guy taking 4 parking spots? Deliver it with these offensive business cards
Remote Controlled Flying F*ck
Fly this ridiculously hilarious remote controlled toy
I’ve Never Board Game
Wanna know more about a person? A great way to socialize and have a few cocktails.
Fart Extinguisher
Sick of people with horrible gas? Use this extinguisher to get rid of the smell.
Titanic Ice Cube Tray
Have your drinks with style as the titanic shaped ice floats in your drink
Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer
Ever wonder where that persons hands were right before they shook hands with you? Why not offer them a squirt of your maybe you touched your genitals hand sanitizer, just to be safe.
Pizza Circular Saw
Real men don’t use wimpy dime-store pizza wheels
Zombie Family Car Stickers
Undead Onboard! Even the living dead deserve protection
Pirate Ski Mask
Wanna look super cool flying down the slopes? This ski mask will keep you toasty and give you an excellent disguise.
Booger Bin
Great for any nose picker, young or old. A great place to store your buried treasure findings.
Gentleman’s Silver Plated Ballscratcher
The Executive Ball Scratchers do the one job that the executive gentleman has to do himself…Scratch their balls
Thumb Wrestling Ring
Thumb Wrestling Ring to make it official
Weener Kleener Soap
Perfect gift for the Valentines day, just make sure he does not get aroused while while using this soap!
