Christmas maybe over, but I still feel very much in the Christmas mood. I was hoping to get some fun gifts over the season, but nothing quite quenched my thirst, not that the gifts I got weren’t incredibly thoughtful and for the most part very useful. Alas, nothing screamed Christmas to me when I opened it, what ever happened to giving a gift that fit into the theme of Christmas? I want to see Christmas colors of red, green and white, see Santa Clause, reindeer or candy cane designs on the gifts I open. I would’ve even appreciated a fun game to play, games aren’t just for kids.
Christmas is a time to splurge and get things that you normally wouldn’t, besides a time to spend with your loved ones. I can buy myself socks, underwear and any other boring piece of clothing, I want something fun and something that reminds me of Christmas. I don’t want to struggle to remember when I got something, I should be able to look at it and say “I got that for Christmas”, instead of struggling to remember just where it came from. I just want to find myself something great to get for an after Christmas gift.
Here are some of the best:
Middle Finger Socks
With these socks you don’t need your finger to flip people off.
Envelope X-Ray Spray
Are you constantly holding envelopes up to the light to see if you can catch a glimpse inside? This spray will help you pry through peoples mail easier.
The iPad Commode Caddy
This is the bathroom stand that replaces a traditional basket of magazines by accommodating both an iPad and a roll of toilet paper. Keep yourself entertained while dropping the kids off at the pool.
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas
Here’s an amazing book for your clueless boss that keeps hitting on you. It’s also perfect for someone who loves coloring even though they are over 18.
Medieval Weapon Push Pins
Ten weapon handled push pins to stick things to your wall or cork board
How to Traumatize Your Children
Have you ever wondered how kids come out so messed up? Wonder no longer! This guide book will teach you all the necessary skills to *uck up your children.
Prank Pack Crib Dribbler
Get some freedom from your little one with this crib dribbler. Just don’t let Child Protective Services get wind you use one.
Honey Badger Small Talking
Get tons of laughs from this Honey Badger plush toy. He’ll keep you and others entertained with his funny sayings. Honey Badger doesn’t give a sh*t!
Magical Unicorn Mask
Vaguely disturbing but awesome at the same time. If you love attention, then you will love this mask.
Over the Hill Walker
Know someone who’s feeling insecure about turning one year older? Look no further for the perfect birthday gift. Makes people feel that much worse about their upcoming birthday.
Squatting Garden Gnome
This garden gnome is the perfect addition to anyone’s front or backyard. Add a laugh to someone’s day when they walk by and see this gnome popping a squat in your flower bed.
$100 Toilet Paper
Buy this one hundred dollar bill 3 Ply Toilet Tissue for extra comfort and that Warren Buffett feel.
Gentleman’s Silver Plated Ballscratcher
The Executive Ball Scratchers do the one job that the executive gentleman has to do himself…Scratch their balls
Electric Back Hair Shaver
DIY back shaver so that you are no longer mistaken as a bigfoot
Pinocchio Pencil Sharpener
Honest to goodness! The Honest Boy wooden pencil sharpener
Bacon Christmas Tree Ornament
Deck the halls with boughs of bacon? Cover your tree in your favorite food and keep yourself constantly salivating.
Fake Poop Shaped Soap
Want to give guests a frightening sight when they go to wash their hands? This soap is the ideal way of doing that.
Runaway Alarm Clock
Never over-sleep again! Clocky is the alarm clock on wheels that runs away beeping!
Butt Face Soap White/Brown
Ever get confused which soap you used for your butt and which one you used on your face? Well, with these soaps you will no longer have to worry about using the soap that you just used on your arse on your face.
